Don Joseph Goewey: The End of Stress

Posted on by Tammy

By Jennifer McCartney

We are all well informed about the damage stress inflicts on our health, happiness, and efforts to succeed—a recent study has shown 77% of Americans suffer from stress. Yet most of us have given in to it, accepting stress as the new normal. The stress reduction programs we’ve tried simply haven’t worked.

But we shouldn’t give in. There is a solution.

Don Joseph Goewey, the founder and managing partner of ProAttitude, a company focused on ending work stress, and the author of “The End of Stress: Four Steps to Rewire Your Brain,” and “Mystic Cool: A Proven Approach to Transcend Stress, Achieve Optimal Brain Function, and Maximize Your Creative Intelligence” joined Tammy Mastroberte, founder of Elevated Existence Magazine for the “Living an Elevated Existence Mind, Body & Soul Summit Season 2,” to share how we can overcome stress once and for all.

Neuroscience discovered genetics and past traumas wire our brain for stress reactions, but we can rewire those faulty circuits through a specific shift in mindset, which can switch our brain’s “auto-pilot” from knee-jerk stress reactions to one that defaults to higher brain networks, calm and peace, Goewey explained. Making this shift is simpler than we would imagine and change happens quickly, within four to eight weeks. Once the shift is made we can unleash the brain’s capacity to generate creative insight, foster greater self-esteem, and improve our relationships.

“If you add up all the stress related disease in America you have the No. 1 cause of death,” he explained. “It knocks out cognitive functions, we get aggressive with other people, it’s rough on relationships.”

The greater the stress, the more we bicker with our partners, and it can even effect the way we look, with chronically stressed people appearing older than they actually are, he shared. Stress also affects our IQ making it difficult for us to function at full capacity. “If we’re chronically stressed, it means the stress response system is on full time,” he explained. We secrete stress hormones when this happens, and our emotional “set point” is to be anxious, angry or depressed. “When we’re having a stress reaction basically the primitive brain is in charge,” he said.

To listen to Don’s interview, and take his Free Stress Test, along with 26 other top experts in mind, body & spirit topics, sign up for the FREE summit now!

But how do we stop stressing? High stress work environments aren’t going away, and the usual stress-reducing programs just aren’t working—our collective stress levels are going up, not down. To make things more difficult, a full 50 percent of our experience of stress is determined by genetics, which plays a big role in wiring us for stress responses. However, the good news is that 40 percent is determined by our attitude or mindset (with the other 10 percent being circumstances). This 40 percent becomes the key to reducing our stress, said Goewey.

It’s all about neuroplasticity. If we can reprogram the way we react to stress, we can begin to take control of our lives. “It takes practice,” he said. “The practice that it takes to built that mindset, to change your brain and change your life in all those positive ways, is a simple practice –it just needs to be practiced.” Anyone can do it because age doesn’t matter when it comes to the ability to retrain our brain. “A change in experience literally changes your brain…and to change our experience you have to change your attitude,” he noted. This can all be done in four to eight weeks, and Goewey shared the four steps to do it — all of which are outlined in his book, “The End of Stress.”

4 Steps to End Stress
1. The first step is awareness. “We create all kinds of stressful events purely in our heads,” he noted. Acknowledge the thought is within you, and not reality. This will help us become aware of the thought patterns that lead to stress. “You want to step into your day in a very conscious way, and be grateful. Gratitude sets of a flurry of positive emotions.” One tool he shares is to take five minutes in the morning to get quiet and be grateful, and set the intention to have a great day no matter what happens.

2. The second step after awareness is making a conscious choice not to activate the stress response. It starts with not believing our stressful thoughts. Ask ourselves, “what does my experience become when I don’t believe that thought?” This will interrupt the stress response and allow us to make a different choice.

5. The third step is about expanding our brain power. As we begin to move out of stress and make the conscious choice for peace, more brain power becomes available, and opens the door to creativity, primarily a function of the right brain. Part of expanding beyond stress includes taking breaks from work throughout the day, walking in nature and taking vacations every year. Goewey recommends taking a 15 to 20 minute break mid-morning and mid-afternoon each day to recharge the brain and keep creativity flowing.

4. The last step is to form a personalized practice that sustains the gains that you make and builds on those gains. Here we can pick and choose the tools that work for us to maintain a stress-free lifestyle.

The Clear Button Tool
As a practice to bust stress in 90 seconds, Goewey shared one of the tools he teaches called The Clear Button Tool. When we become aware of a stressful thought or are in a stressful situation, we start by holding out our left hand. With our right hand, press the center of our left palm, or what he calls “The Clear Button.” Press down and count to three, and then for each count think of a different color. For example, on the first count, inhale and count one, and then on the exhale, think of the color red. Take a second breath, and count 2, and on the exhale think blue. On the third, think green. This is how you “reset” your brain. It’s a form of distraction, and allows you to see the calm or peaceful path through the stress. It stops the stress reaction in its tracks. He also said this can be repeated two or three times, if necessary.

It doesn’t mean we will never experience stress again, but rather that by learning a practice we can shift our thought patterns away from fear and stress, and into a more dynamically peaceful attitude. Our brain will have a new “autopilot” setting that gives us choice, freedom and a better life.

“A lot of people think letting go of fear and stress is hard, but living with the fear and stress is much harder,” Goewey said. “You make the decision to end stress right here right now in the present moment, or you don’t.”

For more from Goewey and the other 25 experts in mind, body and spirit topics, sign up FREE to Season 2 of the Living an Elevated Existence Summit.

Jeffrey Gignac: Happier & Smarter In 7 Minutes

Posted on by Tammy

by Jennifer McCartney

Did you know the secret to happiness, wealth and success might be between your ears? Clinical hypnotherapist and licensed Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Jeffrey Gignac, joined Tammy Mastroberte, founder of Elevated Existence during the “Living an Elevated Existence Mind, Body & Soul Summit Season 2,” to explain how the new science of happiness and productivity starts with the brain.

Gignac, a world-renowned expert in brainwave entrainment and brainwave stimulation, and the creator of nearly 100 meditation and brainwave programs told listeners how they can become happier and smarter in just seven minutes using proven techniques that increase the blood flow to their brain, and can actually re-wire it. He also shared how its possible to double, even triple, a person’s weekly productivity with just a few easy steps.

His work and the programs he creates are all about brain fitness—rewiring the brain to create new pathways resulting in new thoughts, behaviors and actions. He pointed to research showing that brainwave activity is remarkably consistent from one person to the next when they are under any type of stress.

“When we’re all stressed and frustrated” our brain activity takes on a particular pattern,” he shared, explaining on a scan we could actually see blood stuck in one area rather than flowing through to others. To do the “internal math” required of us daily, (processing language, etc.) we need blood flow to the brain and Gignac has studied and teaches techniques, including brainwave stimulation, using video and audio that encourage this blood flow and create the results people are looking for—whether it’s happiness, relaxation, a good night’s sleep or more productivity. Additionally, “things like nervousness and stress restrict blood flow in the brain….so using brainwave stimulation, we can push this blood flow back into the brain.” Once the blood is flowing, we’ll immediately notice the results.

So, it’s one thing to know when we’re stressed or nervous our brain isn’t getting the proper blood flow it needs. But what to do about it? “The biggest challenge in our lives isn’t making ourselves smarter but just using what we have,” he told listeners. “The benefits [of brainwave stimulation] are very similar to that what happens when you exercise a muscle. You get increased blood flow, increased activity…it improves the neuro-connectivity between various regions to the brain, closing communication gaps.”

Long term, the benefits of brainwave stimulation, or brain exercise, are numerous, he said. In addition to stress relief, there’s also “the ability to simply process the world differently on a differently level faster and better over time…[and] the ability to side step negativity over time.” Instead of getting stuck in traditional thinking patterns, where our blood flow is stagnant, we can sidestep those patterns. It also helps with our concentration, making us less susceptible to distraction, he said.

“This is not about increasing your physical intelligence,” he said. However, one of the long terms benefits is the increase of neural pathways, so over time, “it makes it more likely for you to think with greater clarity.”

To begin to identify our own brain patterns, Gignac advised us to take an emotional inventory—figure out our weak spots, strong spots, when we’re happy, etc. The idea is to “change the way the electricity and blood flow moves in your brain so that you break these patterns. It’s one of the simplest and easy ways to improve you happiness and productivity in your life,” he shared.

And it’s more than just reducing stress or increasing productivity. Increased blood flow to the brain can help strengthen different muscle groups, which can affect nearly every aspect of our daily lives—from happiness levels to libido, and encouraging better sleep to increasing the amount of energy we feel during the day.

Using brainwave stimulation, and neuro linguistic programming, Gignac says its about incremental steps toward change. “If we try to do these really, really big chunks it can actually demotivate us,” he said. “We’re not telling people, ‘you will change now’…It’s more guidance, not a pushy type of guidance.”

For more from Gignac and the other 25 experts in mind, body and spirit topics, and to gain access to their free gifts and special offers, sign up FREE to Season 2 of the Living an Elevated Existence Summit!

Panache Desai: Discovering Your Soul Signature – Finding Your Purpose, Passion and Joy

Posted on by Tammy

by Jennifer McCartney

Do you feel exhausted and weighed down by the circumstances of your life? Do you subject yourself to an endless stream of self-judgment and criticism? Do you feel the energy of fear tightening its grip on you more each day?

Each time life throws emotional obstacles in your way, your soul signature – your spiritual DNA – becomes blocked. Anger, shame, fear, guilt, sadness, or despair overtakes you, creating a heaviness that doesn’t permit your energy to flow freely.

But all is not lost. For listeners at the “Living an Elevated Existence Mind, Body & Soul Summit Season 2,” Panache Desai—spiritual teacher and author of Discovering Your Soul Signature: A 33-Day Path to Purpose, Passion and Joy—explained how discovering your unique soul signature can reignite a life of authenticity, rediscover your passion, and tap into the limitless possibility of all things.

“The function of spiritual practice in its most basic level is for an individual to help them come into the experience of themselves as more than just a body and a mind,” said Desai. Once practitioners are aware of themselves as a soul—once they’ve uncovered their soul signature or the unique expression of who they are at their core—they’re able to live their fullest life and embrace their true humanity, leading to greater health and happiness.

“What we’re doing is offering people access, authentically, to who they are at their core,” Desai explained on the call. “Sometimes people have some grandiose notion of their life’s purpose. You’re purpose is to be yourself…the more you can lovingly accept yourself, and engage the part of you that’s divine, you don’t have any mundane moments…You’re doing everything from a place of connection, from a place of awareness, and you truly become alive.”

Desai addressed many listeners who feel they are “stuck” and can’t move forward in certain areas of their life. We learn to get “stuck” very early in life, he said. “The way we learn to get stuck is through our conditioning—we learn from our family. Then at school. And society.” But we don’t become “unstuck” by seeking superficial solutions. It starts with acceptance of where we are and what we feel at the moment. Rather than running away from or suppressing our emotions, we must feel them and release them.

Desai told listeners that uncovering our soul signature requires three steps:

The first is a willingness to look
The second is a willingness to feel and experience
The third is to allow the feeling to be there (not fighting the feeling)

“Whether it’s depression, grief, fear, rage, or whatever, it’s about being available to the emotion, and accepting of it,” he said. “Dealing with the loss of physical attachment in grief, you can begin to access something deeper…because you’re not going to be in it all the time. There comes a point where the intensity of the emotion will begin to diminish.”

By feeling those emotions and letting them flow through us, we will be left with only love, which is the authentic self. “Befriend your humanity,” said Desai. “The part that everyone’s missing, is that the doorway to our divinity is through our humanity. We have to lovingly go through our humanity in order to access our divinity.”

When we discover this, we will realize we are more than just a body and a mind — we are a soul. “Our soul exists on a level of perfection,” he said. “And the more we can begin to embrace and accept the parts we believe aren’t perfect, the more we move into harmony with our innate potential, and the more we’re able to unleash it in the world.”

Putting it into Practice
Desai also led listeners through a practice of exploring their energy and uncovering their soul signatures.

“Think of the person in your life that you believe has hurt you the most,” he advised listeners. “Just breathe and relax your body. And begin to get present to what’s going on inside your body. Focus on how the body feels—whether it’s a tightness in the body—focus on it, and everything associated with that energy collapses. Everything that’s left in us we have to turn and feel.”

While he noted at times we won’t feel a shift right away, we should allow ourselves to be open to whatever it is we are feeling, and to not resist any pain, physical or otherwise. “When that density has been felt, the physical pain goes away,” he said. Desai’s program offered through the Living an Elevated Existence Summit is about consistency and commitment—for about half an hour morning and night, listeners hear a recording designed to address the density inside them and help access their soul signature.

“If you haven’t discovered your soul signature, you’re lost,” he said. However, by uncovering it, and accepting our true humanity, Desai said enlightenment is within reach.

“When you’re experiencing peace, you’re experiencing your enlightenment,” he said.

Jean Widner: How Technology Can Improve Your Meditation

Posted on by Tammy

by Jennifer McCartney

What if you could take your meditation to the next level by incorporating technology into your daily routine?

Jean Widner, co-owner and national sales manager of Wild Divine Inc., shared with listeners of the “Living an Elevated Existence Mind, Body & Soul Summit Season 2,” how we can tune into our bodies natural rhythms — like breathing and heart rate — and improve our heart’s coherence cycle to meditate easily or deepen our existing practice. She explained how combining the ancient wisdom of meditation with Wild Divine’s modern technology can help train our mind, body and spirit to self-regulate; tap into our own personal power; improve our mental focus, creative thinking and intuition; and more.

Wild Divine Inc. specializes in designing and developing unique, whole-body relaxation training programs that help people reduce stress and live happier, more well-balanced lives—and is a leader in the emerging lifestyle technology market.

“What we have is a very simple sensor,” Widner explained about the hardware involved. This sensor, called an IomPE, works with a standard Mac or PC. “It’s just a simple little gadget about three inches by one inch. You basically just plug that into a USB port, and the other end of it has an ear clip, which you put on your earlobe.”

It’s hands free—allowing users to sit and meditate, while the software tapes the heartrate signal and inputs the data into the program allowing users to monitor not only their heart rate, but also their breath cycle. There are also a number of exercises, some spiritual and tapping into emotion, and others focused on breathing techniques, and the program provides feedback on a person’s meditation.

“You can see it live on screen,” she said. “When you’re graphing yourself, you can see your resting heart rate, along with two different visuals—a numerical representation of your coherence score, your heart rate, and your color spectrum. At the beginning it will be yellow. Then when you move into the heart breath it moves to green, then to deep blue.”

The breath is even represented by a butterfly icon in one program that opens and closes with each inhale and exhale. This ability to see concrete results means even on a mediation day that feels unproductive, or you realize through the meditation that you’re distracted, the program offers concrete evidence that the meditation has had a physical effect on the body. And it isn’t just about relaxing! There are also exercises for stimulating breath to gain rejuvenation and energy, Widner shared with the audience.

To listen to Jean’s interview, along with 26 other top experts in mind, body & spirit topics, sign up for the FREE summit now!

Using the Software
The Wild Divine program offered to listeners of the Elevated Existence Summit uses 15 steps, which includes 30 guided meditations, and 13 inspirations around all different topics, and led by a variety of practitioners such as Zen master Nasim Aman, Dr. Dean Ornisch, Dr. Andrew Wild, Joan Borysenko, and Sharon Salzberg.

Widner broke down each of the 15 steps for listeners and explained each step was designed to work on a different area.

Step 1: Quieting the mind

Step 2: Observing your thoughts

Step 2: Working on inner balance

Step 4: Releasing physical tension

Step 5: Cultivating positive emotions.

Step 6: Revealing your inner wisdom

Step 7: Subduing your inner critic

Step 8: Opening yourself to others

Step 9: Practicing compassion for others and yourself

Step 10: Discovering gratitude

Step 11: Opening up to connect outside yourself (the collective consciousness)

Step 12: Setting your intentions

Step 13: “Taking your daily supplement”

Step 14: Learning to commit to a personal practice

Step 15: Finding a rhythm that works for you

The program can work for both beginners and seasoned meditators, along with everyone in between, and Widner offered a potential meditation schedule of about 10-15 minutes a day, 3-4 times a week.

“I don’t believe that we need to meditate for hours to get benefits,” she told listeners, recounting the story of a man with prostate cancer who had no background in meditation—but who found the tool “invaluable.” The program can also help if you’ve “meditated for years and you’ve never been able to find a practice that you could make stick,” Widner said.

“The great thing about meditation is that when you first start to carve out 10 or 15 minutes of your time in the morning, at first that feels like this sacrifice, that you’re greedy to have this time back laying under the covers trying to squeeze out a few more minutes of sleep,” Widner noted. “But once you really understand meditation and you start to gently embrace it and fit it into your daily routine, you find the reverse is true. You’re greedy for those 10 or 15 minutes of mediation time if you don’t get them in the morning. You find yourself out of sorts in the middle of the day.”

She likened the benefits of meditation to athletes who practice constantly to improve their performance. “You’re training yourself into a muscle memory reaction so that then you have more control,” she said. “If you’ve had a really busy and stressful day but you need to go to sleep, you can train muscle memory so that you can put yourself in a relaxed state. Just by knowing how to breathe.”

Widner also shared how the company will be launching, Wild Divine Online, a virtual world with group or individual meditation activities—and once a person has the hardware, they can sample other Wild Divine products.

“It’s a portal to a mindful world,” she told listeners. “People are demanding technology at their fingertips that will help them stay on track with their healthy habits. This is just the beginning.”

For more from Widner and the other 25 experts in mind, body and spirit topics, sign up FREE to Season 2 of the Living an Elevated Existence Summit.

Danielle MacKinnon: Revealing (and Releasing!) Soul Contracts

Posted on by Tammy

By Jennifer McCartney

How many times have you wondered why, no matter how hard you try, you can’t keep a relationship? Or stay healthy, or make enough money? Or that you just can’t seem to find happiness?

Danielle MacKinnon, author of “Soul Contracts: Find Harmony and Unlock Your Brilliance,” intuitive, coach and animal communicator (who was named one of the country’s top 100 Astrologers and Psychics of 2014) shared with listeners of the “Living an Elevated Existence Mind, Body & Soul Summit Season 2,” how we can learn to recognize and release these hidden energetic barriers, or soul contracts, which block the way to true happiness and success.

“We form these [soul contracts] really young when we start believing negative things about ourselves,” MacKinnon explained to listeners. This complicated belief system still operates in us adults, and often leads to a lot of our problems, she says. As a coping mechanism, we create methods to “fix” the negative things we believe about ourselves, and begin to act certain ways in order to feel better about ourselves. These soul contracts will continue to negatively impact our lives until we discover them and release them.

Most people have no idea they’re being guided by these contracts but they are usually aware that they are stuck in some way. MacKinnon shared the example of a 45-year old woman being guided by her soul system, which consists of all these contracts we have made in the past.

“She needed to sacrifice for others to prove that she was worthy,” she said, explaining this was one of her soul contracts. “It had never occurred to her that sacrificing for love wasn’t the way to receive love.”

However, the things we do in order to alleviate the “blockages” caused by soul contracts are just a band-aid solution. A person who feels unworthy in life may constantly feel the need to prove their worth. But if someone feels they have to prove their worth in order to receive, “that giving is not coming from a place of ‘I have so much overflowing love,’” said MacKinnon. It’s coming from a place of ‘I need to prove something.’”

To listen to Danielle’s interview, along with 26 other top experts in mind, body & spirit topics, sign up for the FREE summit now!

Identify & Release
So how can we begin uncovering and releasing our own soul contracts? “It’s not complicated work…but people need to know the steps,” said MacKinnon.

First, we need to identify where exactly we are stuck. What are the soul contracts that are holding you back? “A soul contract will show up as a block. Why do I work overtime and not get paid? Why do my relationships end in disaster? Why don’t a feel happy? It’s often not just in one area,” she said, explaining a soul contract can affect all areas of our lives, from health and relationships to money and career.

For example, if you don’t feel safe in the world, your may have a soul contract that prevents you from speaking up so that you can protect yourself. This can affect you at work and in relationships. You may have the awareness that this is an issue, but simply trying to change a behavior once we are aware doesn’t work in the long term.

“Instead of a behavior change, we work on a belief change,” she noted. “It’s about clearing the negative energy. Clear and release these contracts. Once you feel safe in the world, speaking up isn’t an issue.”

She advised working on awareness first because by simply becoming aware of our contracts, we can begin to shake up our energy — often enacting smaller changes before the final clearing. Some people may come to realize they have a large number of soul contracts, but having a lot of them isn’t a bad thing.

“When you identify one, you now know that it’s operating in many areas of your life—your health, your wealth, relationships,” she noted, explaining once you clear it all these areas will improve.

After identifying the contracts, it’s about releasing yourself from them, ad MacKinnon provided listeners with a way to do this at home, walking them through it on the call. Speaking in a powerful voice, after calling in our guides, angels and helpers on the other side, we can say the following:

“I now consciously release all energies that are no longer serving me as a result of my ‘aha’ moments today. This includes all that my soul knows I’m ready to let go of as well as [here you can talk to your guides about what’s on your mind]. Please release all resulting physical, emotional, mental and spiritual attachments, and call my akashic records, consciousness and unconsciousness, and assist me in aligning with my greatest and highest potential. As these energies release please gracefully open my crown chakra and infuse me with the energy of unconditional love. [Take a moment and feel the love]. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

The block then feels less after a successful release, explained MacKinnon. “The success comes in increments—each small shift results in a new experience. The belief is shifted a little bit each time,” she noted.

Here are some tips to keep in mind as you work on releasing your soul contracts:

Be sure to set your foundations before getting started—remain grounded and organized and don’t just dive in and try and do everything.

Avoid trying to unblock too many contracts at once. You want things to shift in increments, otherwise it’s not sustainable. Shifting in bits is more natural.

“The proof really has to be in the pudding,” says MacKinnon. If you feel contentment and excitement you’re doing something right.

For more from MacKinnon and the other 25 experts in mind, body and spirit topics, sign up FREE to Season 2 of the Living an Elevated Existence Summit.

Karen Abrams: Theta Healing and Relationships

Posted on by Tammy

Theta healing is a unique form of meditation where practitioners enter the “theta state” and are able to shift thoughts away from negative, limiting beliefs to more positive perspectives. It’s a process of healing that can free people from longstanding emotional burdens and even chronic or unhealthy physical conditions.

Karen Abrams, a master theta healer, certified instructor and relationship expert joined Elevated Existence Magazine founder, Tammy Mastroberte, to discuss theta healing and relationships as part of the Living an Elevated Existence Mind, Body & Soul Summit.

“Theta healing is a meditation that connects you to creator, God or source. When you connect with that Divine energy, your brain waves go into the theta state and that is what happens when we are falling asleep and just hitting that dream state,” Abrams explained on the live call. “When we go into the theta brainwave, we are able to access our subconscious mind, and that is really our store house for all of our experiences, beliefs and feelings.”

Our experiences, beliefs and feelings are stored in every cell of the body, and theta healing connects to Divine energy to help shift belief systems no longer working for a person, she noted. Beliefs such as, “I’m alone,” “No one will ever love me,” “No matter what I do it will never work out.” This energy also allows people to shift emotions and feelings.

“This is a huge, huge thing because when you can change a feeling you have had in your body for as long as you’ve known yourself, you can start bringing better things into your life,” Abrams explained.

People often change belief systems, heal trauma and resentments, forgive themselves and forgive others, and while sometimes the shifts are subtle, many receive immediate benefits as well.

“I always say with the subtle ones, it’s like pointing a cannon one degree west – you are going to hit a whole other town. So those subtle changes are going to bring big changes as time goes by, and the big changes will bring bigger changes,” Abrams explained. “Theta can do that for you.”

She became interested in theta healing when a friend of hers quickly began to experiences changes in her life for the better through theta, and Abrams signed up for a Basic Theta Healing class. After the three-day class, her life began to change as well.

“I had anxiety for six years where I was literally shaking every day,” she shared. “After a three-day course on Theta healing, for the first time in six years my body came out of fight or flight. I was in a depression when I started this work, and now my default is contentment. When something happens, I know I can always go back to contentment.”

Elements of a Healthy Relationship
During the live call, Abrams shared three important elements we need to bring into a relationship for it be healthy. They include worthiness, self-love and joy.

Worthiness – “If you don’t believe you deserve to be loved, then you won’t be, and that is what will show up because the person you attract will mostly likely feel the same way,” said Abrams. “Like attracts like, and in this work we talk about how you are really attracted to people who have the same negative belief systems you have because that reminds you of how you grew up.”

If our worthiness is not in a place where we feel we really deserve love, the person we attract is not going to feel that way about themselves either, and is not going to feel that way about us, she explained.

Self-love – “If you love yourself, you are most likely going to attract someone who is very similar to that, so it will be much easier to be able to communicate with them and move yourself forward in that relationship,” said Abrams. “If you don’t’ feel really great about yourself, you are not going to attract somebody who feels great about themselves.”

Joy – Joy is what makes everything better, said Abrams. We don’t need to be 100 percent joyful to have a healthy relationship, but we need to be able to receive joy and express it with a romantic partner and find it in the relationship.

“Sometimes people look for relationships or they run away from relationships because they are projecting their parents marriage onto it, so they stay away from relationships,” she noted. “But usually people who are afraid of relationships are afraid of bad relationships not good relationships, and that may be something they don’t realize.”

Relationships are Mirrors
Any time we are in a relationship – whether romantic or friendships – it is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves.

“You have to understand that if someone is mistreating you, there is probably somewhere in yourself that you are doing the same thing to yourself, and it’s important when those things happen to step back and say, ‘I can be angry with this person, and I should let this person know to make sure my boundaries are healthy.’ But the other side of it is to go back and say, ‘O.K., so where am I being neglectful with myself? Maybe I need to fix that.’ Then that behavior doesn’t tend to come out of the other person, and if it does, maybe you leave the relationship, or you draw lines because it’s just not acceptable anymore.”

Theta healing repairs our relationship to ourselves because we learn to forgive ourselves and gain God’s understanding of why we acted the way we did. It can heal traumas and resentment towards ourselves, as well as others in our life, and when this happens, the burdens we carry begin to get lighter.

“People burdened by the past or those with a very heavy childhood wear that on their back, and with theta you can lift it off and become lighter and more comfortable in your own skin,” said Abrams.